My fingers are aching to say something. Don’t ask me what their purpose for all of this to-do is , I just know that they are screaming to be heard. They are desperate to activate the creative pulse that connects them with the inner part of my mind and has a string attached to my heart. It’s funny watching them dance on the keyboard, trying to decide, now that they have my attention, what it is that they want to say.

They are acting like those people who go through life in their own little box that they claim to be packed into: popcorn, packing tape and all. They become bitter about not getting their chance to speak for themselves and mope around in their own solitude.
And when they get that chance to speak for themselves… they have no idea what they want to say. They’ve waited all their lives to be heard and acknowledged, but then they get up on the pedestal they see everyone else stand on, they are speechless. Forgetting what they had wanted to say… not because they simply forget, the things they wanted to say vanishing into thin air, but because every single thing they wanted to say is contradicted by the knowledge of how hard it must be to stand on the pedestal. They finally realize what responsibility it takes to have everyone watching their every move, waiting for them to mess up.

Like lusting over a guy for as long as you can remember, dreaming of the moment that you get to talk to them. Planning what you’ll say, rehearsing it over and over in your head so that you are ready.
Ha.
And then the moment comes that you come face-to-face and you can’t seem to remember what you were going to say. Not because it’s vanished into thin air, but because you suddenly realize that everything you had been planning to say is totally stupid and not worth another moments’ thought.

Everybody should have their own spotlight, or so they think. But can you really hold it? Can you really make something of the attention you are given? Can you say something devastating? Can you take the chance that you have to make an impact on the world? Is the spotlight that you so desire really something that you can handle? Are you meant to be a prima-dona or are you the one meant to sit in the audience and enjoy?
Think of it this way… If everyone were in the spotlight.. who would be watching you? No one would be there to enjoy what you think that you HAVE to say for yourself.

Sometimes the best way to affect your world is to just sit back and listen….

I guess that’s what my fingers wanted to say. They can be very pesky when they don’t get their way.
I guess I should use this opportunity to sit down and see if I can hammer out a few hundred pages of my novel…. Hmmm…